Making an honest start

I have for long wanted to take a break. Not the usual “break”, where the boss pretends to let me get away from work but gives me enough teasers about what’s in store for me on my return that I spend most of the nights away dreaming up new horrors, and my days doing most of the things I myself expect myself to do on vacations – read, watch movies, talk with friends, or think about doing one of these. Or go to the sort of places I am likely to go to – museums, movies, parks, walks, etc. All of these are very enjoyable, but also quite predictable. It doesn’t make too much difference even if I change the city or country, because this new city or country would still be something I’ve always wanted to visit…

Sometimes, I don’t want to take a DoZ holiday. I want to take a holiday from DoZ. And then go back to being DoZ, because my neuroses are dear to me, and I would miss them frightfully if I permanently exchanged them for someone else’s. (I assume everyone has them).

When Karthik asked me to be a guest on his blog, I thought, what a neat idea. (That sounds composed, but said composure after a considerable time: the head swelled, and the heart went a pitter-patter from the flattery, then from the nervousness). Writing a blog under a pseudonym is an escape of a sort from my true self. Writing for someone else’s blog under said assumed name is [escape]2, as it were. (Sorry to disappoint any who thought DoZ was my real name…I lied, but DoZ does reflect the essence of my true self. I doubt that I’ll get re-invited on the Oprah show for making this disclosure, but hey, you have to be invited first before you can be re-invited.)

From the SEC to Oprah Winfrey, everyone wants to be told the truth these days. So in my first post, I would like to give fair warning of some of the things I may not be entirely truthful about when writing for this blog, or my own.

– The degree of frustration I feel when watching a bad movie. No person involved in the making of a movie has, till date, entered my home and tried to hack me to pieces with a blunt knife. (I added the “till date” clause because one shouldn’t make rash statements. Movies and those involved in their making surprise me all the time)

– The degree of joy I feel when reading a book. I am known to get easily carried away by books, and start writing glowing reviews before I finish a book. I have noted that my sentiments are prone to change by the time I get to the end of the book. Sometimes, I do not update this change in sentiment on the post.

– The degree of pain I feel when considering work related matters. Here’s it’s a case of understating the true state of affairs. Am trying to cheer myself up when writing and I don’t want to encourage any more suicidal tendencies than the ones I already live with.

– Extent of reading I’ve done: After finishing no more than one half of a book by a novelist, I am known to consider myself an expert on said author. I will try to warn you if this is the case, but this is a blanket cop-out, in case I forget to.

– Memories, good and bad: If my memory about where my house keys are at this very moment is any indication of the general state of my memory, I wouldn’t rely too much upon the exact proportion of fact vs. fiction about some incident that happened when I was 8 (Note: I may claim I was 8. In truth, I may have been 26, or 17 or it may have happened only yesterday)

– Any other subject where I feel that fiction sounds better / more entertaining than the truth. This is just a blanket just-in-case.

When I go back and read what I’ve just written, I realize that I’ve successfully made myself sound like a pathological liar. But honestly, I’m not so bad. Really. Or may be I am. I just made sure that you’ll never trust me enough to know the actual truth, if there is such a thing. Now that is what I call an honest start to a few weeks of pretense.


2 comments so far

  1. inlivenout on

    Well,thats(honest start as well as the future pretense)for the reader(me,of course)to decide.Or,to decipher,to be precise.

  2. DoZ on

    Er… thanks, I think…

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